Holiday (non)Festivities

Word just went out that because of the MAGNIFICENT management of my company, there won't be a company Christmas party this year.

It's not that I'm too upset about it. Spending three (pretend jolly) hours with middle-aged people I really have nothing in common with and no alcohol is never a fun time.

But still...

I'm having a hard time getting into Christmas this year, and that might've helped. If you set aside the Agnosticism and the issues I have with commercialism and religion, I really like Christmas. It's a time of the year when people are a little bit nicer, there's more community, more sharing, and we spend time with those we love.

Maybe it's because this will be the first time in eight years I'll be single and alone on Christmas. What I'm really going to miss the most is having someone there with me that morning, to look into her half-closed eyes and whisper, "Merry Christmas, honey." But this year it'll just me and the pooch, kicking it. My family will be having ours on the 30th. In the meantime, my sisters and friends have their own family goings-on, my parents have stuff they're doing. Granted, I can probably head to San Antonio and hang out there in the afternoon but that'd probably depress me more.

So here's my plan for Christmas morning: Wake up whenever, take Murphy for a walk, snuggle up on the couch with a pot of coffee and a kung fu movie, then go do some volunteer stuff somewhere, and let Christmas go.


This is by no means a "Bah Humbug" moment. Simply a non-event.


And Happy Holidays to you all.

Moving Forward And Upward

Yesterday I received a letter from the IRS. I know, I should've opened it right away. But because of stuff with Jean's family I get a lot of those.

So this morning I decided to open it up, just to see.

It was my Federal Tax ID.

For my business.

The one I've been promising to start for the last year.

Yeah, I stared at the letter in disbelief for a sec, while my brain tried to flip it over in my mind. Finally it sank in.
According to the Federal Government, I am a business owner.


yay me.

Good Morning!

Ah, Murphy...

You're a funny guy. I always liked the subtleness to his humor.

He always takes a while to wake up (DEFINITELY NOT a morning doggie), so typically I get up, make some coffee, get in the shower, check my email, etc. etc. and am ready by the time he decides to drag his ass out of bed.

Normal routine today. Coffee brewing, I giggle as I'm picking out my clothes because he's now snoring, curled up on my pillow ensuring the entire bed is now covered in dog hair. Clothes in hand, I jump in the shower.

While I'm drying myself, I peek at him. Still in the same place. I step to where I have my clothes, and nearly break my neck stepping on an empty food bowl. He looks up, yawns, and gives me this look as if to say, "Good morn... What? My food bowl? Now HOW did THAT get THERE?"

Now I want to point out at this time that his bowls are downstairs. So when I get in the shower, he apparently got up, went downstairs, grabbed his bowl, carried it upstairs, put it down where he knew I would step on it, get back into bed in the same place and position on the bed and pretended to go to sleep.

Yeah.

He's a funny guy.

Wow

'nuff said.

AAAAAAAAAAAND DUN

...with holiday shopping.

almost.

HO FRIGGIN HO

I only have 2 more things to buy, but they're quick and I know exactly what I'm getting.

Now I'm going to be materialistic here for a sec.

Want to point out that being single sucks as far as the gift-giving goes. Now, before you say anything, let me point out that I KNOW it's about the giving, and the sharing. Not the getting.

But sheesh.


Let me put it in numbers. In my family alone, there are ten people to buy for. My folks, both sisters and their husbands, plus both have two kids apiece. In exchange, I'll most likely be getting four gifts. One from each of the "families," one from my parents, and my Dad will most likely be getting me something extra, usually a gag gift. Now it was worse when I was married, mostly because Jean's family was HUGE. We're talking seven kids and ten adults on her side alone.

I also want to point out that I make the least amount of money out of all of them (by a LOT), including my Dad who's been retired for seventeen years. So as usual, I go deep into debt each holiday, and the rest of the family makes out like a bandit.

To top it all off, I'm a kickass gift buyer. And it's not the money either. I don't play the "spend equal amounts on everyone" game either. That doesn't do a damn thing. They usually love the gifts, and rarely return them (I can only think of once in the last 5 years).

It's hard not playing the "compare game."

After this year, I'm going to talk to them about it. Once I get my business up and running, it shouldn't be too much of an issue, but until then I can't hang. Problem is, I know what my family will say. "Just get the kids something." Yeah. That'll happen. Might as well not show up at all.

So all in all, including the gifts for my closest friends, I've spent over $600. And I'll get about $100 worth of gifts, most of which I may not use (from personal experience). I try to not think about it in those terms, but when I look at my credit card balance, it's hard to not.


Oh, and if any of my family has located my blog, two words: Gift Cards. It's not that I don't dig what you give me, and I feel that they're impersonal as well. BUT, I'm pretty picky about the stuff I need, including clothes, electronics, and toys. And my kitchen is overflowing, so I don't need anything there (kitchen gadgets have always been a safe bet with me). It's okay. Really. That's what I want.

And a pony.

With rockets.

Making Your Own Charcoal Briquettes For Fun And Profit

Looking for a business idea?

By following these steps, you can make charcoal briquettes in your own home with little effort...

(Trust me. It works! I accomplished this last night.)

1. Stay out late at a friend's.
2. Come home, grab yourself a drink, turn on some cartoons and relax on the sofa.
3. Around 1 am, decide you're a bit hungry.
4. Preheat the oven to 400°
5. Put in some frozen chicken nuggets (the brand doesn't matter, but I prefer Tyson).
6. Set the timer for 10 minutes.
7. Grab another drink, and kick back on the couch again.
8. Fall asleep.

That's it.

I woke up at around 6:30, impressed with the smell permeating through my place, and a slight haze in the air.

But at least now I'm ready for a BBQ.

In At The Wire

I know I told ChaCha Happy Birfday, but I didn't post.

Yet.


So here you are.

Speaking Of Karma...

I made a birthday dinner for ChaCha last night. We sat around, drank wine, talked, and played with the dawg.

At one point we went upstairs so I could show her something online. We came back downstairs so she can scarf down some more shrimp. But the shrimp were gone, and Murphy was sitting there looking innocent, content, and happy, apparently in the hopes that we would not think twice about the fact that five shrimp mysteriously vanished along with about six tails.

But the shrimp were gone.

The bacon-wrapped shrimp.

The JALAPENO and bacon-wrapped shrimp.

Karma's a funny thing.

Anyway, I was awakened at about 4:30 this morning by a cold nose on my cheek and a soft whimper. He needed to go out. Badly.

I didn't even have to give him an "I told you so" as he was a hurtin' cowpoke. Even after he did his "business," you could tell that he was not enjoying life very much.

Of course you know, he didn't learn a damn thing from this experience.

For ChaCha

This is kinda old, but it cracks me up every time I see it.

MMMMM, Bacon...