Go Sooners? Part IV: How Am I Still Awake?

I get to the Company without incident and early enough where I can take a breath and have a cigarette. I called Lillith, and she said, "Look at it this way, unless you break out into Tourette's in the middle of the interview, you can't fuck this up."

Thanks Lil, now I have something else to worry about.

When the building opened up at 8 I put on my game face and tell the receptionist I'm there to see D.

It's worth pointing out that every chance I got I sent an email to M (my HR liaison) and D, just in case more drama occurred. After all, it seems the universe was trying everything to keep me from this interview. It should know better by now. I'm too stubborn to have my family's luck dissuade me.

He comes in and I can see he's laughing his ass off. Apparently he had just finished reading my periodic emails when the receptionist called him. He also said that M had left him a voicemail telling him to please reschedule the interview, since she was convinced I wasn't going to make it, at least on time.

I sat with him and chatted about the job. It wasn't really an interview per se, more along the lines of a "This is what you'll be doing." at 9 he introduced me to his director and left me there. That was more like an interview, with me telling him what my normal year is like, my workload, etc. Fifty minutes later D stole me away again and dropped me off at his VP's office for another hour. I'm glad I interview well since I was pretty much on autopilot. D also made sure to tell EVERYBODY about my ordeal. I know I got extra points for my determination, but I didn't want them to like me "considering," ya know?

After the two interviews D took me on a tour of the campus. I got the impression as far as he was concerned, I was there more for an orientation than an interview. He totally did the hard sell. I had already done my research on the company, campus, benefits, etc. Shortly after noon when he showed me the community garden and 72,000 ft gym I told him, "You don't have to sell me. I want to be here." He then told me about the further process, meaning the final approval of salary, benefits, relocation expenses. It'd take about a week, maybe two before I heard from him.

We then went back and the entire team went to lunch at one of the restaurants on campus. It was so refreshing that the team was all in the late 20s-early 30s. Most of my current colleagues range from 60-deceased. While I was eating I got a call from the airline saying my bag had arrived. After lunch we stopped by M's office so I could turn in my receipts for the rental car and say hi. My flight was leaving at 4, so I finally said my adieus and headed out around 2.

Dropped off the rental, picked up my bag and then immediately checked it in. Grabbed me an overpriced coffee and sat down, trying to convince my brain to stay awake for another three hours until I get back. Then pick up Murphy from Lil's, drive home and pass the fuck out.

Drama over.

For about 5 minutes.

At 3:30 the American rep gets on the PA. I stood up, ready to board.

"Attention: American Airlines Flight 66666 to DFW..."

I start walking towards the gate.

"Has developed mechanical problems and is delayed. They are currently working on it and the departure time is estimated to be 4:30. We apologize for any inconvenience."

Fuh. Real.

At 4:30 the time was moved to 5. My connecting flight in DFW was at 6. See a pattern? They tried to convince me the plane would wait for me, I told her that was a crock and to find me another way to Austin. Tonight.

I'll give her credit. I wasn't in the most pleasant mood by now and she did try to work out a way to get me home, calling multiple airlines, trying to connect me through Dallas, Houston, San Antonio, even via Memphis. But since this was a Friday afternoon all flights were booked solid.

I was on 3 different standbys, each passed by without your champion on board. Finally when the flight to Houston left without me, my brain sent me a text message. It told me it had enough and that in 60 minutes it would either shut down or go on a homicidal rampage.

I called Lil, apologized and asked if she could watch Murph one more day. She told me to shut up and get some sleep. (You're wonderful)

They put me on the 6am flight and got me a hotel room along with a meal voucher. I was indeed starving, but wouldn't you know it all the airport restaurants close at 7.

Figures.

I finally get them to pull the bag off the plane and call the shuttle. When I get to the hotel, all I can think about is sleep. But for some reason (I guess I'm looking a little frayed around the edges by now) they ask and I end up telling my tale to the girls behind the counter. They tell me they'll buy me a drink at the bar. I told them maybe, but let me freshen up first. I made them set a wakeup call for 4. And 4:15. And 4:30 (I wasn't going to miss another flight dammit) and head upstairs to my room. I think I managed to stay awake for almost 15 seconds before passing out.

I wake up around 11. Incredible what those three hours did for my mood. Now for that drink.

Had a couple of scotches (no, I had to pay for both) and then took to the pool for a bit. That relaxed me enough to get back to sleep.

I did manage to get up at the 4:15 wakeup call, which was also when I set the alarm clock and the alarm on my phone.

The airport shuttle starts at 5. Kinda pushing it for a 6am flight, but I didn't have any other options. He drops me off at the arrivals at 5:15 (and let me have a smoke on the way. Thank you nice man). Lucky for me I was in first class, which put me in the line with only one person in front of me. If I was in coach there wasn't a chance in hell I would've made it.

The line through security is long but seems to be moving pretty quickly. For some reason I'm randomly selected to have the whole "swab your hands" thing done. I'm also on the phone with a friend, telling them to thank the deity of their choice that my ordeal is almost over.

I really need to stop saying shit like that.

When they put the swab through the machine, it lights up like a slot machine. Bells, whistles, sirens, flashing lights...

They pull me aside. "What'd I win?" I ask.

DHS doesn't have a sense of humor.

After going through everything in my bags, feeling me up, waving all sorts of things around me, and even asking if they needed to bring a dog in, they decide that the only thing that's a threat about me are the dirty clothes that had been marinating in my bag for the last 48 hours. They let me go.

At 5:55.

The security checkpoint opens out to Gate 22. My flight was at gate 6. You don't need a diagram for that one. And this time I was indeed wearing my flipflops.

They let me on; at least once I made them reconnect the jetway. They tried to balk, but I made it clear that I would be on that flight, even if it was clinging to the outside of the wing like a 6'3" baby-on-board sign.

Now they don't serve drinks on flights before 10am, even if you try to bribe them. Regardless, I kept my mouth shut until I finally landed in Austin at 10:04 Saturday morning. Got my bag without incident and paid the $40 for parking (forgot about the extra day). I picked up the pooch, thanked Lil, drove home and didn't leave the couch for 18h.


Around 6pm that night, I got a recorded message from the airline saying they were working diligently to locate my missing luggage.