It Finally Hit Me

Wow.

I'm jazzed, and a little thrown off.

I mentioned before that I got my tax ID for my new bidness. Those entrepreneurs that are old hat at this probably don't get the excitement I have right now and can probably skip the rest of the post.

But anyway, on Monday I got a letter from EFTPS (Electronic Federal Tax Payment System). Since I had already received my ID, I was curious about what else I could be getting. Right away the wee little pessimist inside of me was halfway expecting a "your tax ID has been withdrawn because of new evidence uncovered that you are a tool" letter.

But it wasn't. I opened it and had to stare at it for a bit to let it sink in. It was info and my PIN for depositing withholding taxes for my employees. Read that again. MY EMPLOYEES. That's when it hit me.

I mean, I don't have a business plan, grant, website, etc yet, but they're informing me about MY EMPLOYEES. That's a good feeling.

Maybe it's that, maybe it's the caffeine, but I'm a little giddy about the process.

I'll let you know when I'm hiring.

EDIT: BTW, I registered my domain this morning. I'm guessing I'll be ready for clients within a few months.

Moving Forward And Upward

Yesterday I received a letter from the IRS. I know, I should've opened it right away. But because of stuff with Jean's family I get a lot of those.

So this morning I decided to open it up, just to see.

It was my Federal Tax ID.

For my business.

The one I've been promising to start for the last year.

Yeah, I stared at the letter in disbelief for a sec, while my brain tried to flip it over in my mind. Finally it sank in.
According to the Federal Government, I am a business owner.


yay me.

So You Had A Bad Day...

Yesterday was not pretty. I started feeling sick on Sunday morning, and went downhill from there. It wouldn't have been that bad, but unfortunately I had some trips I needed to take for work this week, so I put my death hanta ebola plague illness on hold until I could get back at home and collapse.

(SIDE NOTE: I know I said I would no longer be heading on business trips. I lied. I'll explain later)

So Tuesday I went to San Antonio, and came out that night. Yesterday I had to head back up north, about a 3-3 1/2 hour drive. Mind you, I've been running a slight fever and basically felt like various levels of crap for the last few days. My plan was to head out around noon, be in town and checked in by 4, then pass the fuck out until my meeting the next day.

The first part of that went okay. I left about 11:45. when I was about 15 miles out of town, I realized that I had forgotten my phone. annoying, but understandable with my memory and my condition. Run back home and get it.

On the road again.

Right outside of Temple (check Google maps from Austin for distance and perspective), I realized I had...

Forgotten.

My.

Shoes.

Who forgets shoes?

Me. This guy.


So, I had to turn around and go back. By the time I left my house (for the third time), I already had over a hundred miles racked up. And STILL had a 3 hour drive ahead of me. And I'm TOTALLY billing my company for those miles.

It wasn't like I could just run into Wally World and pick up another pair, not that I didn't wish I could. I wear size 15 1/2 EE, as mentioned before. So buying off the rack isn't exactly an option.

Anyway, I made it in after 6, and passed out in my room.

And I still woke up late.

Last Business Trip... EVAH!

One more...

I'll be leaving here in a couple of hours, and be back tomorrow evening.

Funny thing is, they're already planning on another one towards the end of the year. When they told me that, I was snickering quietly to myself.

If only they knew.

I've been actively looking for jobs, and I made a few decisions during my search. First of all, I'm not going to settle. I won't take a job I'm not excited about, even if it pays more. Secondly, I will be earning what I'm worth. Period.

I'm actually tempted to quit today, but this trip will give me a chance to go out tonight on the company card and have a lot of numbers on my bar tab. What're they going to do, fire me? MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

I'm Done

It's 5am and I'm awake. I came back from another business trip last night, and by this afternoon I'll be heading out again. After this week if everything goes as scheduled, I'll only have one more trip to go this year. And yet I'm done.
I've said in the past several times that I am quitting, even walked out twice. But something happened last week that ensured my exit.

For the record, I like my job.
LIKE.
Not Love.
Like.

I feel as what I'm doing is important in a grand scheme. It is a job that not many people are even aware of, and because of the uniqueness of the work, it comes with great security. The pay isn't great, but decent, and plus I'm on salary.

I also like my company.
Small-"L" like.

There's a lot of freedom I have as well. For the off-season, I can take off early if I want, take 2 hour lunches, etc. They don't monitor my Internet usage, and that's where I do quite a bit of blogging. Plus, I can spend quite a bit of time on IM.


Am I willing to walk away from that? You bet.

Several things have happened recently that helped me create this choice. With that came several realizations.

• Regardless of the words my VP and others up the food chain have told me, they want to keep me in this position. Forever. At the same pay. Did I mention forever?
• I'm an idea man. I've come up with numerous plans, ideas, tools, software, improvements in the past, almost all met with great excitement, enthusiasm, and fanfare. And in the three years I've been there, exactly ONE has been implemented, and that's just because I was able to do it my own damn self in my free time, and rolled it out without their help.
• COROLLARY: As much as they've touted the company as "progressive," even to our clients they promise improvements they are capable of, yet don't deliver. Because of this, we keep losing clients. Big Clients. And since we're a government contractor, the number of potential clients is finite. This is a sinking ship IMO. Which brings me to:
  
• Salary. For the past 26 months I've had exactly the same salary. And chances are good that they'll pass us over again.

Those are the main points, and nothing new. Underpaid, Overworked, and Unappreciated. But not the most important one.

It's me.

I don't like who this job is turning me into. I'm normally a happy, driven, goal-oriented, caring individual. But lately I'm someone completely polar from that. Some of the things I say or do ARE NOT ME. I'm not happy. I say things that are insensitive, and occasionally dickish. Something like that happened yesterday. I tried to say something funny to someone, and it spiraled and morphed into something completely foreign. Worst part, I didn't even realize it until this morning.

So I'm done. I will be quitting sometime in September. That is unless something miraculous happens, like they randomly decide to promote me, or give me a fat raise, or the Grinch's small heart grows three times that day and breaks that little window.

But it was very emancipating when I made the decision to give my employers the virtual finger.

This will give me time to take my vacation, look for other venues, buy a house, and time to get my business going. Updates soon to follow.

Guess What? On A Business Trip!

Yeah, another. On a fucking holiday.

I'm TOTALLY done with this. Anyone need a kickass employee?

I don't ask for much. Really. Just a six-figure salary, company Jaguar, my own wet bar, and a really hot 18-year-old assistant that calls me "Mr. B" and gives me back rubs (with happy endings).

I'm worth it. I swear.



In the meantime, I have to drive out of the county to have dinner. Oh, they have restaurants here, but they
Don't.
Serve.
Alcohol.

Commie bastards...

Yep, On The Road Again

Whoever invented 5 am should be dragged out into the street and shot.

Three hours of sleep is pushing the envelope, even for an insomniac like me. This was because I stayed up until about 2 waiting for a phone call. I'm funny that way.

Right now I'm having my first cigarette of the morning, and getting ready to head down to San Antonio for work. It's only about a 90 minute drive, so it's just a day trip. I also get to take my folks out for dinner tonight, so it's not a total loss.

HOWEVER, then I come home and get to pack for yet ANOTHER trip. That's right. Because I'm such a wonderful, dedicated employee that doesn't want to get fired, I'm heading out for the D/FW area tomorrow for a three day trip.

Think about that.

Tomorrow. As in Wednesday. As in July 4th. I will spend our Independence Day traveling. for. work. So if there are any cute girls out there near Fort Worth that want to spend July 4th with a REALLY kickass guy, drop me a line. I'll bring the scotch.

I'm starting to believe that my job sucks.

UPDATE: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand I get pulled over on the way. Omen, anyone?

Five-Day Business Trip: Back in Austin

Wow. I can't tell you how good it feels to be back home. Even the living room, messy from packing, was a pleasant sight.

Now the numbers:

Hours since pulling out of my parking lot: 92.5
Miles driven: 707
Hours worked: 23
Hours slept: 21
Average time of wake-up call: 5:15
Cups of coffee: 3,452
Text messages sent: 46
Amount spent of my own money: $162.48 (includes gas)
Amount charged to the company card: $883.27
Articles of clothing ruined: 2
Pounds gained: 7
Pages written in journal: 8
Life-changing decisions made: 2
Hours until the next trip: 86

Five-Day Business Trip: Day #4

Most people don't believe me when I say that I am Murphy's Law incarnate, that strange things happen to me routinely, almost expectedly.

Others that have known me for a while smile and nod their heads. They know.

I'm in a conference with one of the first people this morning at about 9. I wasn't able to hook up my computer in this particular room, so occasionally I have to get up and go to another room to use my co-worker's laptop. On the second trip of the sort, I felt something poke me and then my ass fell out of my slacks.

The office chair I was sitting in had a staple hanging off. Apparently my pants snagged it and ripped an 8 inch gash down, all down my left cheek.

(To certain people that shall remain nameless: Yes, and Thank Gawd)

So the rest of the day, including lunch, I had to wear my blazer. My wool blazer.
Did I forget to mention that the A/C in this building had been out the last three days?
Not to mention the fact that I rode in with someone from the hotel, so I had no transport.

Another thing I have learned from this trip:

• Wool suit+ 92° + embarrassment = Sweat.

Lots of it.

Gallons.

I could grow rice.

So when the ladies in the office (that normally seen to view me as eye-candy) see me, they're saying, "You MUST be hot. Take off that jacket."
"Err, no. That's ok. I'm actually a little chilly," as I almost squish as I walk back to the office.


Welcome to my world.

Five-Day Business Trip: Day #3

Things I've learned on this trip:

• There is NO way to smoothly traverse Houston. I'm starting to believe that the majority of the two million people that live there are paid to get in their cars and find what road I'm on. They get their bonuses based on whether they can cut me off.
  
• Being alone with your thoughts for hours on end is not necessarily a good thing. Especially when you're tired. Those little voices in my head that usually have some pretty good ideas are now making evil choices... Don't ask.
• There are times to ignore those voices.
  
• Maps are good. 'Nuff said.
• After two hours in a car there will be a heated, borderline violent debate on something meaningless. This applies even if you're driving alone.
• The radio is evil. I've mentioned that before. It will find some obscure thought or emotion rattling in your head and play some song to feed that into a frenzy.
• Texas is really beautiful. It does get hard to see that after a while. I made myself a note that's on my steering wheel. It says simply, "look around."
• It gets lonely out there.
• I miss being home.
• I am SO working on my business after this season.
• Jacuzzis are nice.
  
• Take a voice recorder with you on long trips. It comes in handy.
• Take directions with you on long trips. It comes in handy.
• You can recreate yourself when by yourself.
  
• But sleep on it first.
  

Five-Day Business Trip: Day #2

Nothing really to report. Worked all day, had lunch at DQ (long story), Dinner at a funky little Mexican place, and now I'm in my hotel room waiting for the scotch to kick in.

And naked. I'm TOTALLY naked.

Five-Day Business Trip: Day #1

The trip so far has been pretty uneventful aside from a shitstorm that hit this morning, but I won't go into that.

But because of aforementioned Storm o'shit, I leave a little late. At least I seemed to time it perfectly, which put me getting into Houston right at the beginning of rush hour. PERFECTLY, I SAY. I was on the beltway trying to get to the other side of town. Now for those of you that have never been in Houston, the beltway is a toll road costing an average of $87.53 per nanometer, and driving from one side of Big H to the other is only about 4,876 miles. I'm SO billing my company for the tolls. On top of all that, it's rush hour, so it's about as close to a moving parking lot as humanly possible.

Regardless, I made it in about 7:15. And as I'm checking in, they inform me that my 2 double-bed nonsmoking room is available. "Uhhh, What the hell have you been smoking? Kiss my ass, moron", was my response. Or something like that. It was that or "Sir, I believe you are mistaken." Either-or. That's when I whipped out my handy-dandy internet confirmation asking for a smoking king. Their response was "Erp."

Great start to my trip, I know.

So now I'm spending the next two days in the only other room available, a Jacuzzi suite with a king in the bedroom. That's right. They also gave me a discount on the room. But since this is going on the company card anyway, I honestly don't give a shit.

And now at 9:16, I just got back from a steak dinner, I'm on my brand spankin' new laptop (which I'll tell you about in my next post), sippin' scotch and waiting for my Jacuzzi to fill. The only thing I need right now is ChaCha in various levels of undress offering to pleasure me in borderline illegal ways.

This week may not turn out so bad after all.

Out of Town Again

This afternoon I'm heading out again on business. I'll be gone til Friday night, but I'll be checking in and posting once I get to my hotel.

Talk to you soon!

-B

Business Trip #1

I won't go into what I do for a living, but this time of year is my busy season, involving a LOT of work and travelling all over Texas.

My boss comes into my office on Monday around noon. He looks at me rather strangely and says, "Are you going to be in Live Oak tomorrow?"

I've had quite a few "Oh Shit" moments lately, WAY past my comfort level. I pull up my calendar and sure enough, I have to be in South Texas the next morning. I also needed to have reports finished and run (these reports in particular take about 10-14 hours) to take with me. And Live Oak County is in south Texas, about a three hour drive from Austin. So I bust my ass to get the reports started, then run home to pack. Lucky for me I've gotten good at travelling, and I can do a one day trip with a small bag. So at home I grab a suit which I can iron at the hotel, my toothbrush and product, and run back to the office. The reports have been running for about 3 1/2 hours and it was about... 1/10th finished.

To hell with it. I closed up shop and headed out the door. My biggest problems with going out of town on such short notice were:

• Not having CDs burnt. Three hours of trying to find a station in BFE (Bum Fuckin' Egypt for those of you that aren't Texans).
• Not leaving early enough to miss rush hour. Especially since I have to drive through two cities to get there.
• Not having time to get my suit cleaned. At least Febreeze is my friend.
• Not having time to stop off at the liquor store.
  

So I took off towards the bustling metropolis of George West, Texas. To get there, drive south out of San Antonio. Drive until you're completely lost in the middle of nowhere, then turn right and go 15 miles.

Back to the radio. I was ok going through Austin and San Antonio, but after that, pickings were rather slim. Scanning through, I heard plenty of Tejano, preachers (on a weekday afternoon...on FM. For real), and country. I finally picked up a station that sounded promising, until I heard this:

"K***, today's top hits, and now Cutting Crew with I Just Died In Your Arms Tonight."
Read that again, you'll get the irony.

Also on that station the ads were a little odd, mostly help wanted ads. I'm talking 90 second ads for assembly-line workers making $7/hour. I thought I heard that wrong, but they repeated the wages FOUR TIMES, as if that was a executive salary. In addition, some of the other points they made sure to advertise were "Paid Jury Duty!" "Free Parking!" and "On-Site Cafeteria!" Now, not to rag on the low-wage people, cause we were all there at one time... Ok, maybe not Paris Hilton... but if you're making $7/hr, 401K's might not be too much a priority.

So I finally get into town at about 7, check into the hotel. The other guy from my office was already there. I call him and we meet up downstairs to go to dinner. That's the good part of travelling. Yay company card! So we start driving around, looking for a restaurant. 20 minutes later, we're still looking. We end up eating dinner at Burger King. I swear I'm not making that up. That was the nicest place we could find. The next day I asked a lady where they go out to eat. She said, usually on special occasions we go out to the Truck Stop. Really. I think I got a hernia holding back laughter.

These are the kind of places I have to go to all summer long. Don't get me wrong, I grew up in a briar patch myownself. The people are as nice as they could be, and they actually use words like "varmint."

Other than that, it was pretty uneventful. I didn't have my laptop with me, so I ended up making paper airplanes in my room all night. Oh, the TV was on, but in order to change the channel, you had to push down the buttons on the remote until they came out the other side, sometimes taking a fingernail with it. And apparently it was a dry county. Wish I would've known.

One down, ten to go.

Choosing a business name bites

I'm working on getting my own business started. I feel that I'm tired of making money for someone else. I want to help people. I came up with a way that I can enjoy what I do, be my own boss, make a difference in people's lives, and have fun while doing it. Plus, what I'm planning on doing will be something I can do in addition to my current job.

ChaCha (that's what I decided to call my Not-Girlfriend) and I were working on business names. It's interesting that the name isn't as important as the domain availability. Back in the day, all you really had to do was pick a name, register it with the state, and you're on your way. But now, we had to scrap several names simply because the domain name wasn't available. Has the internet become that important? Obviously it has. What sucks even more is that most of these domains aren't even used, and I'm not paying thousands of dollars to these brokers for the one I want.


Anyway, I think we decided on one. I won't mention it yet until I get the ok from Texas, but we really like it and we also like the acronym as well. Keeping my fingers crossed.