Here's a shout out to my Geeps.*
Someone out there managed to get World-Of Friggin-Warcraft to run on his iPhone. Obviously there are issues, and it seems to take forever to actually accomplish anything. But all shortcomings to the iPhone notwithstanding, I am impressed by the capabilities.
Regardless, you HAVE to be impressed. Maybe a little?
*My own brand-spankin' new word. Means "Geek Peeps." Copyright pending.
Err, metaphorically speaking.
Adam at Ah Ok Lah, is offering free blog reviews. Well, for a link to his site. So here's the link, and now my blog will be up for pointing and snickering constructive criticism.
I have to admit I'm a little nervous, especially since I have very little return traffic. I keep reminding myself that my writing is for me, and for those close to me to keep up with my life.
Now the dark, brooding honesty...
I have this fantasy that people all over the world will someday sit in front of their computers for days, mashing the Refresh button, anxiously awaiting my next post. It is, after all, my first step in world domination.
Regardless of how the review turns out, I promise to post a link when it's complete.
The six people that actually read my blog might notice that the Google Adsense and the Amazon ads are now gone.
I decided that they were a bit distracting, and also totally useless. Upon checking my Adsense account today, I discovered that I had a whopping seven-ish dollars, after over two months. Time to buy that plasma tv!
Therefore, I chose to take them off.
I write mostly for myself anyway, so it's not too much of a loss.
Maybe once I become legendary and famous worldwide, THEN I'll start being greedy and looking down upon you peons with loathing and pity.
Yeah, another. On a fucking holiday.
I'm TOTALLY done with this. Anyone need a kickass employee?
I don't ask for much. Really. Just a six-figure salary, company Jaguar, my own wet bar, and a really hot 18-year-old assistant that calls me "Mr. B" and gives me back rubs (with happy endings).
I'm worth it. I swear.
In the meantime, I have to drive out of the county to have dinner. Oh, they have restaurants here, but they
Don't.
Serve.
Alcohol.
Commie bastards...
To everyone that waited in line and spent the Gross National Product of Zimbabwe for an iPhone, I received a verrrrrrry interesting email on the subject from a reader (Thanks, Ric!).
Here's the deal. Your battery starts going south, as all rechargeable batteries are wont to do. So what do you do? Send the phone to Apple along with $85+, and they'll replace the battery within three business days (Side note: you lose ALL data and settings saved).
Sorta makes me all weepy. Of course, when I read that I had to laugh hysterically until I nearly passed out.
If you don't believe me, Click Here.
Whoever invented 5 am should be dragged out into the street and shot.
Three hours of sleep is pushing the envelope, even for an insomniac like me. This was because I stayed up until about 2 waiting for a phone call. I'm funny that way.
Right now I'm having my first cigarette of the morning, and getting ready to head down to San Antonio for work. It's only about a 90 minute drive, so it's just a day trip. I also get to take my folks out for dinner tonight, so it's not a total loss.
HOWEVER, then I come home and get to pack for yet ANOTHER trip. That's right. Because I'm such a wonderful, dedicated employee that doesn't want to get fired, I'm heading out for the D/FW area tomorrow for a three day trip.
Think about that.
Tomorrow. As in Wednesday. As in July 4th. I will spend our Independence Day traveling. for. work. So if there are any cute girls out there near Fort Worth that want to spend July 4th with a REALLY kickass guy, drop me a line. I'll bring the scotch.
I'm starting to believe that my job sucks.
UPDATE: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand I get pulled over on the way. Omen, anyone?
So I went and returned the cheap-ass laptop today.
One of the many jobs I have had in my life was working customer service for a major electronics retailer. I won't mention the name, but it starts with a "C" and rhymes with Nurcuit Nity. Retailers lose a LOT of money on returned laptops, as there's almost no markup. Because of that I knew I had to have my game face on and prepare for a fight. I had what I was going to say, the reason for the return, what was the problem, was there any damage, did I pee on it, how much porn was on it, etc.
I walked in and was immediately yelled at by the WalMart geriatric ward. "You returnin' that?" I spun around and said yes to the 90-something guy hunched over a basket filled with smiley-face stickers. He then proceeded to write something down on a small orange piece of paper. "What's dat dere?" pointing at the box. Ok, maybe his vision was going. "A laptop," I said, lifting up the box to show. He looked down the checklist on the orange paper, looked at the box, the paper, the box, the paper, etc. He got the same look on his face as my grandpa used to while looking at the crossword puzzle. It was the appearance of someone trying to do long division in their head while juggling chainsaws. He took the box from me and turned it over, peering at each face of the box very carefully, and then looking at the receipt I timidly handed to him. Looking up at me again, he asked, "What is this again?" I pointed at the large picture of the PC on the front, and said, "A... laptop?" not sure if I had to explain the concept of this new-fangled technolomagy to Fred (I finally took a look at his name tag in case I ever saw him wandering the streets looking for the cat he had when he was 5). He finally gave up and scribbled "laptop" at the bottom of the paper and dismissed me by waving his hand towards the second airlock door. I took the box and backed away carefully, in case he was skittish.
Ok, SHOWTIME! Got my story straight in my head, waited for them to call me up from the imaginary line on the floor, and got ready for the questions. "I want to return this," I said assuredly, like I was speaking in front of Congress as I rested the box on the counter.
Nothing.
The minimum-wage girl opened the box, glanced in and started processing the return. The only thing she asked me was to see the credit card I used. If I wasn't this awesome guy I am, I could TOTALLY take advantage of Wally World, if this is the process for returns.
But I am a nice guy, so I took my receipt with the $534.24 credit, and sauntered out into the heat of the afternoon with a fabrication of an unused excuse hanging heavy on my back. If only she would have asked questions, the burden of those words would not be walking out with me.
As I unlocked my car, I saw a lady walking past me towards the store. "It didn't have the capabilities I needed!" I yelled as I stepped in my truck, and drove away.
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SIDE NOTE: My griping has paid off. I got a tablet PC from my company today left over from someone that quit three months ago. And I am NOT letting this one out of my sight. In fact, it's right here nex.... Well, I'm sure it's in my apartment somewhere.
I was looking for pictures of tornadoes today on Google Image search (don't ask) and as I always do, got kind of distracted. But the search engine seemed so intuitive, I thought I'd ask it those important questions in my life. Here are the results...
Q: Why am I here?
Ok, something to do with ducks, a blue dog and a cake. Kind of esoteric. Maybe the question wasn't specific enough.
Q: What's the meaning of my life?
Errr... I got nothin'.
Let's try a different approach.
Q: Will I be happy?
(ChaCha, I SWEAR, that's what came up).
Hmmm, ok, maybe destiny questions aren't it's forte. Lemme try something simpler.
Q: What will I get for my birthday?
Apparently Goldie Hawn in a bikini (not that I'm complaining).
Here I shifted to Magic 8-ball questions.
Q: Will my business be a success?
And NO, my business idea has nothing to do with that. Although....
Q: What kind of business will it be?
Q: What should I have for lunch?
Q: Are you trying to be some kind of smartass?
Alright. I'm done. Now it's just messing with me.
