Bastages

I have to go in. Somebody please give me a ton o' cash so I can tell them to kiss my ass.

Playing Hooky

Note to my employers: If I call in sick, I'm not. If I am sick, I'll go in and make you send me home.


I decided to call in today. All the extra hours and piles of work have reached critical mass and I just wasn't feeling it. I do know that I'll have to work extra to make up for it later, but this will give me time to decompress on all the things going on in my life.

So I woke up around 7, and decided to make the call immediately. My boss sometimes comes in at 7:30ish, so it was then or never. So I called his voicemail, put on my best "at death's door" voice, and told him I might come in this afternoon if I'm feeling up to it. But of course I won't.

I always thought it was funny how we all create a "sick voice" to call in with. Even when we are sick, we put up that same voice. My normal one is a scratchy, weak whisper.


Regardless, I'm using this day to think about some things, make some decisions, make some plans, forget about certain things, and be.

My Changing Universe

The floor is not level.

There was a rift in my universe tonight as if someone threw a stone across the ocean, breaking the surface of the water.

It's not the splash of the water I felt. The ripples and waves that reached the shore were what moved the pier.

However...

I'm still afloat.

Control over my universe is still in my hand.


I'm not going anywhere different.


Still on course.

Song For The Day

I'm not usually one for posting song lyrics, but this one seemed rather appropriate for some reason today...


Runnin' Down a Dream- Tom Petty
---------------------------------------------------

It was a beautiful day, the sun beat down
I had the radio on, I was driving
The trees went by, me and Del were singing
Little runaway, I was flying

Yeah running down a dream
That never would come to me
Working on a mystery, going wherever it leads
I'm runnin' down a dream

I felt so good, like anything was possible
I hit cruise control and rubbed eyes
The last three days the rain was unstoppable
It was always cold, no sun shine

Yeah runnin' down a dream
That never would come to me
Working on a mystery, going wherever it leads
I'm runnin' down a dream

I rolled on as the sky grew dark
I put the pedal down to make some time
There's something good waiting down this road
I'm picking up whatever is mine

Yeah runnin' down a dream
That never would come to me
Working on a mystery, going wherever it leads
I'm runnin' down a dream

Insomnia and Writer's Block

I'm an insomniac. Always have been.

I may have mentioned that before.

After I got home last night from ChaCha's (see last post), I was incredibly exhausted. By 7 I had fallen asleep on my couch watching TV.

I wake up at 9:30.

Shit.

I know now it'll take me forever to get back to sleep. Go upstairs, check out the blog metrics, stare at the screen for amusing sentences to enter my brain. Nothing.

I putter around downstairs, make something to eat, watch some cartoons.

Not tired in the least.

Around 11 I head upstairs to my computer. Perhaps now I can get out a couple of posts. I look at my drafts, and don't really feel any of those. I click on the "New Post" button and stare at the screen for about 15 min. Have a cigarette. Stare some more. Nothing.

I WoW for a bit. Still not tired. Around 1am I Alt-Tab over to the flashing cursor on that blank post page. Still nothing. Have another cigarette and stare. The more I look at that form mocking me with its nothingness, less enters my mind.

I decide to cut my losses. I shut down, and plod into the bedroom.

Lie down on the bed, still not tired. Look at the clock.

2:08

Crap.

Turn on the TV. Flip through the channels. Infomercial, Infomercial, Sports, Baby Einstein (who the hell has their kid watching TV at 2:30 in the morning??), Infomercial, Home shopping network...

Twilight Zone!

I set my timer to turn off the TV in an hour, and float into the world of a black and white Rod Sterling, blowing smoke into the camera, talking about player pianos and alternate realities.

Last time I remember looking at the clock it said 4:41.

I recall turning off my alarms (I have 2. It's something insomniacs need). But I actually get out of bed, awake at 7:42. Work starts at 8. Shower. Dress. Screw shaving.

8:10.

As long as I'm already late, I run and get coffee and breakfast, and stroll into the office at 8:45.

New day...

Best. Weekend. Ever.

We made it the whole weekend without even a minor annoyance with one another. To be fair, I can only speak for myownself. ChaCha did kick me out Sunday afternoon, which I get. We were both pretty exhausted from the traveling and the gorging and the drinking and and and. So decompression was needed on both sides.

Friday night was probably my favorite part. We went to Wally World and bought Tupperware chairs for her barren patio. Wal-Mart to me is a lot like Dennys. You can get what you need for a reasonable price, and you always feel better about yourself after leaving. It's sort of like watching Jerry Springer. No matter how bad a life you have, you're not one of those people. If you are the sort of person to get dressed up for Dennys or Wal-Mart, you are one of those people, and you really should set your standards higher. Anyway, we just bought chairs and olives yet still spent about 45 min running up and down the aisles, especially when we were around the toy section. Two people with ADD trying to walk by shiny things. Not pretty.

Once we got back we set up the chairs, made martinis and talked. And talked. And talked some more. Oh, yeah, we stopped to talk.

I LOVE our conversations.

The next morning after coffee and smooching we headed out to Fredericksburg for some shopping and beer. Well, a couple of beers. We weren't really in a drinking mood, after all the sloshiness from the prior evening. Surprisingly, we only stayed a couple of hours. But we did do a lot of window shopping and more talking. I can't tell you how much I enjoyed walking hand in hand with that gorgeous lady.

PLUS...

she got a pirate hat. Let me say that again. SHE GOT A PIRATE HAT. And wore it the rest of the day. In public. Voluntarily. How awesome is that?

We headed back and stopped off in Johnson City at this dive that claimed "The World's Best Chicken-Fried Steak" ("Over 3 Dozen Served" I shit you not. That was on the building).

It wasn't. Pretty decent, but not the best.

After getting back to her place, we sat down and watched about 5 hours of Coupling, one of my all-time favorite shows. If you want to check it out, in the Amazon search below type "BBC Coupling" for the DVDs. TOTALLY worth it. British comedy at its finest.

More beer, more snuggling.

Yesterday morning, after more of the smooching she made coffee and I made breakfast. Loads of bacony goodness. More Coupling, more smooching. There was a slight hiccup when ChaCha found out that Roger Clemens signed for a year contract with the Yanks, but that wasn't enough to ruin our weekend. More beer. More talking. Then she kicked me out.

Best.

Weekend.

Ever.


P.S. ChaCha....


You know.

YAY Mini-Vaca

ChaCha got the weekend off. I know, I was shocked too.

So we're basically playing it by ear, but at least we can see if we aren't beating each other after 2 1/2 days together. This will be the longest stretch together so far.

But, we have plenty of alcohol just in case.


I'll let you know.

My busy season has begun

Hi all!

Work has been incredibly busy, and I haven't been able this past week to slack off and write.

I think I may have finally realized that the largest opponent in our lives isn't negativity, or failure, or even bad luck.

It's getting caught up in other things, getting distracted. Kinda easy for someone as ADD as myself. As Lennon said, "Life is what happens to you when you're busy making other plans." I've neglected so much of my life in the past week, all for the sake of work.

Thinking of it now, I realize how stupid that is.

What's more important than spending time on my goals, or with ChaCha, or with my readers? Certainly not work. Of course there's a certain responsibility that goes with life. But at what cost?

I learned something today. This is my own Dragon, and it must be slain. Each day I will do something, regardless of how small that enhances my life and those around me.

A job is unimportant. The quality of life is not.

As long as you're waiting (New posts coming today. PROMISE!)

Here are a few puzzles to keep you busy:


Find the next in the following sequences:

O, T, T, F, F, S, S, E, ...??

(for ChaCha) 3, 9, 27, 81, ...??

4, 4, 1, 2, 1, 1, 2, ...??

1, 4, 27, 256 ...??

Stay with me...

I know it's been 3 days, and I have a lot of posts to finish (6 in drafts alone).

Sorry for the delay, and keep checking back for more ramblings...




Live with Passion!

-B