I'm Done

It's 5am and I'm awake. I came back from another business trip last night, and by this afternoon I'll be heading out again. After this week if everything goes as scheduled, I'll only have one more trip to go this year. And yet I'm done.
I've said in the past several times that I am quitting, even walked out twice. But something happened last week that ensured my exit.

For the record, I like my job.
LIKE.
Not Love.
Like.

I feel as what I'm doing is important in a grand scheme. It is a job that not many people are even aware of, and because of the uniqueness of the work, it comes with great security. The pay isn't great, but decent, and plus I'm on salary.

I also like my company.
Small-"L" like.

There's a lot of freedom I have as well. For the off-season, I can take off early if I want, take 2 hour lunches, etc. They don't monitor my Internet usage, and that's where I do quite a bit of blogging. Plus, I can spend quite a bit of time on IM.


Am I willing to walk away from that? You bet.

Several things have happened recently that helped me create this choice. With that came several realizations.

• Regardless of the words my VP and others up the food chain have told me, they want to keep me in this position. Forever. At the same pay. Did I mention forever?
• I'm an idea man. I've come up with numerous plans, ideas, tools, software, improvements in the past, almost all met with great excitement, enthusiasm, and fanfare. And in the three years I've been there, exactly ONE has been implemented, and that's just because I was able to do it my own damn self in my free time, and rolled it out without their help.
• COROLLARY: As much as they've touted the company as "progressive," even to our clients they promise improvements they are capable of, yet don't deliver. Because of this, we keep losing clients. Big Clients. And since we're a government contractor, the number of potential clients is finite. This is a sinking ship IMO. Which brings me to:
  
• Salary. For the past 26 months I've had exactly the same salary. And chances are good that they'll pass us over again.

Those are the main points, and nothing new. Underpaid, Overworked, and Unappreciated. But not the most important one.

It's me.

I don't like who this job is turning me into. I'm normally a happy, driven, goal-oriented, caring individual. But lately I'm someone completely polar from that. Some of the things I say or do ARE NOT ME. I'm not happy. I say things that are insensitive, and occasionally dickish. Something like that happened yesterday. I tried to say something funny to someone, and it spiraled and morphed into something completely foreign. Worst part, I didn't even realize it until this morning.

So I'm done. I will be quitting sometime in September. That is unless something miraculous happens, like they randomly decide to promote me, or give me a fat raise, or the Grinch's small heart grows three times that day and breaks that little window.

But it was very emancipating when I made the decision to give my employers the virtual finger.

This will give me time to take my vacation, look for other venues, buy a house, and time to get my business going. Updates soon to follow.