Incredibly Obvious & Nosy Award Goes to...

I was getting gas this afternoon in preparation for my trip. When I was done, I ran inside to grab a pack of cigarettes. Adding to the increasingly huge list of things I hate about traveling so much is that yes, I smoke A LOT while driving on long car rides. And short ones. It's my biggest trigger.

As I was waiting for the cashier to grab them, I felt a little tap on my arm. I turned to face a kindly 60ish year old woman standing beside me in line.

"Excuse me," she said, leaving her hand on my arm.
"Yes?"
"You really should quit smoking."
"..." I said nothing. What the hell do you say to that?

Anyone that knows me will tell you that I routinely start up conversations with total strangers in random situations, like checkout lines. Or at the DMV. Or funerals. Or at the free clinic. But never have I made personal judgments. It really rubbed me the wrong way. I understand that she had the best intentions, however my vices are none of her business. On the Offensive Scale, it was the equivalent of, "You know, you should really stop giving back alley handjobs to junkies."

And had the complete opposite effect as intended. As much as I would like to quit, that sweet-looking lady made me want to buy two cartons and light them up en masse. Anyone that smokes (or had) knows what I'm talking about. It's not easy. It bugs me way more than motivates me to hear, "Why don't you just quit? Just stop buying them." Right. THAT works.


I WILL quit. And when I do, it'll be because I decide to. As if I was waiting for some random person to tell me that, someone to say the frighteningly obvious. Did she honestly think that I would turn to the cashier and say, "She's right, gimme a Slim Jim instead." If so, I need to see what medications she's on and get me some of those Ego Pills.

And note to that sweet lady: Mind your own damn business. If my MOM saying that can't dissuade me, why the hell do you think you can?

/steps off of soapbox.